Getting Quiet

My New Year’s resolution (yes, I dared to have one and no, it was not to be nicer to people-sorry, in-joke) is to be better at rest.  Getting a full amount of sleep.  Taking breaks from tasks to recover so that I can do more better in shorter times.  Ideally.

To set the backdrop, I don’t spend a lot of time on my balcony.  It’s nice.  i keep it decorated and decently clean.  But I’m rarely comfortable spending time out there.

Yesterday, I went to visit a friend.  She and her partner regularly go outside for a smoke, they sit in their backyard, look at the trees and relax.

Today I realized that I avoid the balcony because I am bothered by the idea of simply relaxing.  I should be DOING something, not just sitting on my ass.

Or so says the back part of my brain.

Tonight I went outside for my own nip of bud though more importantly to take a distinct break between tasks, between things I was working on.  It felt good at their place, surely I could do something similar in my own home?

And it worked.  Okay, yes, we have to ignore my twitchy, must move, must do something, must must must voice, but after that it was calm, it was peaceful, it allowed me to regroup, as it were, and settle comfortably back into myself.

I didn’t wait until I was too exhausted and then crash out from the exhaustion of pushing myself through the horror of doing what I “should” do.  Instead, when that feeling came on, I went outside, took a break, gave myself just 15 minutes of relaxing and contemplating and BEING.

Then came back in and it was round two of doing…wait, I could do whatever I wanted.  And I did do it.  I did the things on my list but because I wanted them done not so that I wouldn’t feel guilty.

Recognizing and using the power of breaks and rest is my New Year’s resolution.  Here’s planning towards it being a new habit and soon.

A night of fabulousness to all, and to all a fab night.

~Abysmal Witch

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2 thoughts on “Getting Quiet

  1. At several decade marks I have tried analysis of my ‘shoulds’, having too much Scorpio, looked at every planet for answers.
    Recently I was rebuilding my ancestral corner of my living room according to Flung Phooey stuff, and began to contemplate each ancestors’ take on ‘should’. OMG, I started to hear them all talking to me at once. The first person I heard was Dad…”STOP blaming me cause you still believe I was telling the truth when I said you should clean your room.” Then Great Grandma religious fanatic said, ‘believe what you want child, we are all here, and carry the Light for everyone. And the Light is in you too.’
    The next message came from the tv, odd, but he said ‘ I love waking up and doing things no one has to tell me to do.’ huh…nice.
    Then I adjusted another out of the blue voice (this happens a lot) “How you deal with having success says more about you than having the success.” The same goes for problems, issues, etc. How we deal with our foibles tell us a lot about ourselves, not our foibles.
    First, don’t even try to fly, just jump up an inch and laugh. I just did it. And it feels good.

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